As you start to walk on the way, the way appears-Rumi
Divorce can stir up profound and painful emotions; regret, confusion, a sense of overwhelm and, oftentimes, debilitating fear. Although divorce has become a more common occurrence, the personal struggle with the fear and anxiety that divorce can cause is daunting. In traditional litigation, the focus is not on addressing the fears. Each spouse has their own attorney to give them legal advice, and the focus is on what they are going to get and what they are going to give up – not on what the future looks like. Litigation can be an adversarial process, not an amicable one. A Collaborative Divorce can be transformative because the fear and anxiety that each family member is experiencing is disclosed and discussed. These discussions provide the foundation for recovering from divorce.
Common Fears in Divorce
Some of the most common fears people experience are:
- Fear about their financial future.
- Fear about parenting plans and how much time they each are going to be able to spend with their children.
- Fear that they are losing themselves since they are accustomed to being part of a couple.
- Fear that they have no control over what happens next.
How the Collaborative Divorce Process Helps Alleviate Fears
In a Collaborative Divorce, a team of professionals strive to help the entire family feel comfortable about discussing their fears about the divorce and the family’s future. The team works together to determine the underlying interests and develop creative solutions.
There can be enormous grief associated with the loss of the relationship and facing an uncertain future. Collaborative Divorce helps the couple to negotiate and settle their issues instead of blaming each other for the breakdown of their marriage.
The divorcing couple works with a neutral financial professional to address their fears about money. Each spouse sees all the financial assets and they work together to find creative solutions to maximize the family’s wealth in a way that makes sense to them both while considering the short and long-term financial goals for each one of them.
If there are children involved, a child specialist or divorce coach helps the parents work together to create a parenting plan that focuses exclusively on the needs of the children. The professional will help the couple communicate and provide the family with the tools they need to help them adapt to the new parenting plan.